It is mysteriously made by one of the world's famous baker, Associate Professor Dr. Carrota Haentasami Myeong Han Takeshi (Struggling to get a professorship). The story began when the raw dough was moulded but the filling was yet to be placed in. However, the pao (bun) mysteriously end up in the oven and get baked without the filling. Associate Professor Dr. Carrota Haentasami Myeong Han Takeshi then think, perhaps if we sell this just like a char siew pao, no one will notice! However, he forgot to check on the oven and it turns out charred. Hence, the new name: Charred Siew Pao.
As a clever person with multiple PhD bought from the internet with his hard-earned drug-syndicated money, our hero cunningly paint the charred siew pao white to hide the blemishes he had inflicted on that helpless dough of inflated, cooked wheat flour. Much like a Kohen looking for blemishes on a Qorban, he can defeat a Kashrut-observant housewife in checking her veges for creepy crawlies. What a Mitzvah!!! Oy vey!
Thereafter, the clock starts to bang, loud like the big ben being held captive; the paddler will soon arrive, bringing his not-matzo pao to the kopitiam to be sold. He got to act fast, he thinks, but nothing much could be done besides the finishing glaze from his food-grade chocolate glaze stolen from Cadbury chocolate factory operated by the bonkers Willy Wonka.
Bang! Bang! The 50 years old aunty clad in tight baby-T on her oversized body hit the almost-cracking glass-door with her under-exercised arm. Flabbily her underused muscle swings into action and her whole body shakes with mighty resonance. Her thigh showed itself as her shorts tightly clamped on her acacia trunk-like lap. Our Associate Professor wonders, how could she have ridden her motorbike with such illegality; at least the law should take care of immodestly-clad ugly people.
The cleverly disguised glazed-white-painted-charred-not-matzo-charred-siew-pao is then lumped together with other normal not-charred char siew pao. Some of them sugar-free while some of them sugarless. He used sugar-free sugar to made them. The big fan of his sugar-free charred siew pao is the aunty on bike, a clear evidence that his sugar-free char siew pao is nothing but a mafia-run scheme. Skim-cepat-gemuk.
Eliel walks aimlessly to the kopitiam to satisfy his craving for roasted pork bun or commonly known in our Noachide circle as Lechem Chazir.; sumptuosly Kosher for Gentiles. He is unaware of the mind-boggling mind-bogglers that are plaguing his destined-to-be-bought charred siew pao. Our consumer gently walk to the overcrowded kopitiam, filled with hungry and angry customers pushing to purchase the over-priced charred siew pao (on a lighter note, the doughnut demand on an almost epidemical proportion could not even matched the overcrowded-ness our Eliel is now experiencing).
In the pursue of hunger, he braved the oversized bellied uncles and aunties for the meagre ration of char siew pao. The paddler, an Indonesian aunty, gave him the ham(filling)-less Charred Siew Pao. In a satisfied and fulfilled mood, he braved the crowd once more to go back to civilisation. On the way back, he met up with 72-transformer who perfected the arcane art of 'Mouth Origami' which only few could have mastered (it requires a unique combination of some biological defects as well as some adequately trained mouths). After a few rounds of hitting and stone throwing, our hero finally came to rest in his beloved rented house, which the rent is due today.
When he tries to eat the pao, as the Minchag (custom) of the chinese is to break the bread and to recite the blessing of HaMotzi. When he did so, his mouth could not recite any blessings at all. All the thousand years of deep contemplation and meditation gone in that one day when he yelled 'Mou ham geh???!!!' (No filling!!!?) loud until his House-lord hears his cry and stride into his in one and a half second. Then she said,
'I am very sure you are eating ham-less charred siew pao,'
THE END
As a clever person with multiple PhD bought from the internet with his hard-earned drug-syndicated money, our hero cunningly paint the charred siew pao white to hide the blemishes he had inflicted on that helpless dough of inflated, cooked wheat flour. Much like a Kohen looking for blemishes on a Qorban, he can defeat a Kashrut-observant housewife in checking her veges for creepy crawlies. What a Mitzvah!!! Oy vey!
Thereafter, the clock starts to bang, loud like the big ben being held captive; the paddler will soon arrive, bringing his not-matzo pao to the kopitiam to be sold. He got to act fast, he thinks, but nothing much could be done besides the finishing glaze from his food-grade chocolate glaze stolen from Cadbury chocolate factory operated by the bonkers Willy Wonka.
Bang! Bang! The 50 years old aunty clad in tight baby-T on her oversized body hit the almost-cracking glass-door with her under-exercised arm. Flabbily her underused muscle swings into action and her whole body shakes with mighty resonance. Her thigh showed itself as her shorts tightly clamped on her acacia trunk-like lap. Our Associate Professor wonders, how could she have ridden her motorbike with such illegality; at least the law should take care of immodestly-clad ugly people.
The cleverly disguised glazed-white-painted-charred-not-matzo-charred-siew-pao is then lumped together with other normal not-charred char siew pao. Some of them sugar-free while some of them sugarless. He used sugar-free sugar to made them. The big fan of his sugar-free charred siew pao is the aunty on bike, a clear evidence that his sugar-free char siew pao is nothing but a mafia-run scheme. Skim-cepat-gemuk.
Eliel walks aimlessly to the kopitiam to satisfy his craving for roasted pork bun or commonly known in our Noachide circle as Lechem Chazir.; sumptuosly Kosher for Gentiles. He is unaware of the mind-boggling mind-bogglers that are plaguing his destined-to-be-bought charred siew pao. Our consumer gently walk to the overcrowded kopitiam, filled with hungry and angry customers pushing to purchase the over-priced charred siew pao (on a lighter note, the doughnut demand on an almost epidemical proportion could not even matched the overcrowded-ness our Eliel is now experiencing).
In the pursue of hunger, he braved the oversized bellied uncles and aunties for the meagre ration of char siew pao. The paddler, an Indonesian aunty, gave him the ham(filling)-less Charred Siew Pao. In a satisfied and fulfilled mood, he braved the crowd once more to go back to civilisation. On the way back, he met up with 72-transformer who perfected the arcane art of 'Mouth Origami' which only few could have mastered (it requires a unique combination of some biological defects as well as some adequately trained mouths). After a few rounds of hitting and stone throwing, our hero finally came to rest in his beloved rented house, which the rent is due today.
When he tries to eat the pao, as the Minchag (custom) of the chinese is to break the bread and to recite the blessing of HaMotzi. When he did so, his mouth could not recite any blessings at all. All the thousand years of deep contemplation and meditation gone in that one day when he yelled 'Mou ham geh???!!!' (No filling!!!?) loud until his House-lord hears his cry and stride into his in one and a half second. Then she said,
'I am very sure you are eating ham-less charred siew pao,'
THE END
Posts
u have a way of complicating even simple things. any way a great invention "the charred siew pao"
ReplyDeleteYou should give some description to the pretty house-lord, for she always make herself look (though not neccesarily true) wise and ever-knowing.
ReplyDelete